How to turn your mom into a crazy loon

 

I don't understand how it happens. One minute I'm making dinner because my 6 year-old is hungry, then the next 40 minutes I'm fighting with my child trying to convince him that he is in fact able to go into the bathroom by himself to wash up for dinner. He is pulling out all the stops to get me to drop everything in the kitchen and walk him to the bathroom. In other words, he's expertly taking control over dinner time and turning it into an argument that I don't want any part of:

• Owen: I'm scared to go by myself.
  Me: The light is on. You'll be fine.
• The movie last night scared me.
  Go wash your hands. Your dinner is getting cold.
• Why did you make dinner if the brothers aren't home?
  Because you said you were hungry.
• Why is your bedroom door closed?
  Because it's messy and I don't want to look at it.
• Open your door. It scares me closed.
• I'm not going to wash my hands if you don't reheat my dinner.
  I'm done talking about this. If you are hungry, go wash your hands.
• Will you reheat my dinner after I wash my hands?
  Yes
• Why aren't you reheating my dinner?
  Because you haven't washed your hands.
• Why can't someone else go with me?
  Because we are the only ones home.
• You're so mean making your child starve.
  I'm not making you starve. You're not washing your hands, so you are choosing not to eat.

You really must image that exchange with a whole lot of crying and wailing thrown in for effect. We do some form of this dance every day. It's exhausting and completely absurd. I know I am partially to blame for this crazy cycle we're stuck in. I tend to hyper focus on what I am doing, so I don't notice what is going on around me. By the time I realize what is happening, it's too late and I've lost a battle that should have never happened in the first place! I am convinced that I will be completely gray and crazy by the time my baby goes to college.