Facing your fears

That is exactly what Brandon did last night at his baseball game. I had told him earlier in the day that all he needed to do at his game was focus on swinging his bat as hard as he could. "Even if you are afraid of the ball, swing as hard as you can. You don't even have to try to hit the ball, just swing hard. If the ball hits the bat, it will go flying out into the field." I must have sounded like a broken record because I kept telling him, "Remember, the ball isn't going to hit you. You're going to hit the ball." I don't know if any of that helped, but he sure faced down his fear of the pitching machine last night like a champ! He made it to the batters box twice and hit 4 or 5 foul balls and 2 base hits. The second time he got up to bat he yelled, "Mommy! I'm not afraid of the ball!" from the batters box. He sure wasn't! He actually did a happy dance and spun around and around on the first base bag. Coach thought he did so great, he gave Brandon the game ball to take home. The boy was walking on air! He promptly put the ball on the shelf next to his other trophies. It is the one thing on that shelf that he's most proud of.

An Easter moment

We spent another Easter at my mom's house. She has the best backyard for the Easter Bunny to visit. He was busy again this year hiding another 100-something eggs. Of all those eggs, my brother always dyes a special egg and hides it really well. The finder of thus egg wins a special prize. This year it was Dylan. The look on his face was just awesome. You could see it written all over his face that he just could not believe he was the one who found it. Once he got over it, his smile just lit up his face.

Deets and the winning egg (found in the compost pile)

Deets with his prize

What does the word "fight" really mean?

Over the past few weeks Russ and I have come to see that Brandon does not really understand what fighting means. He interprets anything that involves pushing, shoving and general horse play to be fighting. Although we are pretty sure the first incident he relayed did involve older boys getting a bit carried away, he has since been participating in rough play with other boys in his class.


He came home from school one day and over a plate of oreos I asked him what he did that day. When it came to recess he told me, "I don't want to tell you, because you might get mad." I prodded a bit more and he told me that he and another boy were fighting with someone on the playground. Well after a few more questions, it turned out to be play fighting. I had to explain to Brandon the difference between play fighting (everyone laughing while hitting and pushing) and real fighting (mad faces, mean yelling, crying and people getting really hurt). Now I think he gets it. It's definitely interesting to hear that he's starting to do more "boy stuff" rather than wander the playground by himself everyday.

Ok, this is a total "mom" post. So sorry!

Sorry, but I have to report that Owen has tackled the scariest part of potty training tonight. He's been saying for weeks that he wants to "go poo on the potty" right before bath time. No luck beyond the pee. Well tonight he was victorious. I left him in the bathroom for some alone time, and sure enough, I hear this excited yelling that he he went poo in the potty. I came in to this radiant smile. It was just awesome that he had no fear like my other 2 boys. He just decided tonight was the night and made it happen. He walked away with a fist full of M&M's which he proudly showed to his brothers. That's when Dylan whined, "When do I get M&M's?" He now has seen what he gets if he ever goes poo on the potty. I am hoping and praying this will be Dylan's turning point, and he'll stop being a non-pooing stubborn mule of a boy. Maybe, just maybe, Dylan will be potty trained before he starts kindergarten.

Why do they wait so long to tell you the important stuff???

All 3 boys got into trouble today for, I guess you could say being themselves. They were fighting and crying and carrying on, so I put all 3 on time out. After their time out, I sat down to talked to all of them about being brothers. We had this discussion about protecting each other when they are out in public, and how it should be the same at home and how we need to use our words and listen better.

Anyway, after this is all said and done, Brandon tells me that he and the neighbor were walking together at recess one day, when two older boys came up to them and just pushed them down. Well, the neighbor pushed back and so did Brandon. I guess punches were thrown and my boy ended up in the nurses office with ice packs on both eyes. Apparently this all happened "a long time ago." I was so pissed that I was never told. I vaguely remember noticing Brandon's eye looking a little red and asking him about it, but I got an "I don't know" answer. I'd say that was at least a month ago. I was relieved that he actually fought back and didn't just stand there while some older boy beat him up. I'm not happy with the teacher's response when Brandon told her what happened. She basically told him not to go to that part of the playground again. WTF! I'm so livid I can't wait for school to open on Monday.

What I hate is the uneasy feeling I have now just wondering what else I don't know.

Spring Break in Santa Cruz

I am very thankful the way the calendar played out this year. Typically Easter falls later in the month than it did this year, making it impossible for me to get away for spring break with my family. (My work schedule has me Sacramento bound between the 5th and 20th of each month.) This year with Easter so early, I was able to "relax" with the family on the coast for the week. I admit the rain did dampen our plans, but we still made it out of the house nearly every day to do something.

We spent a good 4 or 5 days at the beach and a couple more hiking in the forest. On two separate occasions, two of my boys were nearly run over by cars. If you find gray hairs on my head, you will know where they came from. Brandon was very nearly run over by the lifeguard truck because he had layed down in a hole right in the path of the beach patrol. He'd go huddle in that hole when he felt cold, and we thought nothing of it. When I saw the truck pass by on the beach, it slowly dawned on me that Brandon was laying in it's path. I looked back and sure enough the tire tracks head directly at him and then veer around his hole. I stood shaking my head, because I felt like an negligent parent and also because Brandon saw the truck coming and still didn't move. The lifeguard made sure to let us know Brandon shouldn't be where he was, because it was a busy weekend and if there was an emergency, a lifeguard may not see him laying in his hole. Talk about feeling like an idiot. All I could do is nod my head, because just the day before the beach patrol and paramedics had been called because a couple of people were pulled pretty far out by a riptide. Brandon for sure would have been run over that day.

The second incident happened the last day we spent at the beach. We were carrying our things back to the car. Owen was out ahead of everyone because he wanted to be first. We told him over and over as he reached the sidewalk to wait for us. "Owen, wait there!" All he could see were his brothers coming and he wanted to be first to the car, so he ran out in the street in front of a moving car. I just about died. I literally could not make my body move. I was frozen as I yelled my baby's name. He stopped and came back on the sidewalk looking completely confused. He had no idea what he did wrong. We were so lucky that driver had slowed down because Owen was standing right on the edge of the sidewalk. When he bolted in the street, the van was going slow enough that stopping wasn't difficult. I am so thankful for that careful driver!

Aside from those heart stopping moments, we had a wonderful time collecting beach treasures and playing in the water and sand. The hikes in the forest were fun too, but convincing all of them to go was difficult. They were usually too comfy in their jammies playing XBox games. In the end we forced everyone to go. Nisene Marks was lush and green and beautiful. Even when it began to rain, it was a wonderful place to be. The boys loved it.

The kids could have stayed longer in Santa Cruz. They just love it there. Who cares if they sleep on the floor. They wake up to views of the ocean, property ripe for lizard catchin, and the guarantee they are either going to the beach or the forest that day. They have it so good. If only they knew how lucky they are.

Musical beds (without the music)

Owen has suddenly become very scared of sleeping in his bed. He cries and hides under his blanket at bedtime. He looks like a Winnie the Pooh version of Cousin It from the Munsters...only, I don't think Cousin It shook and wailed like it was scared to death. The first couple of times it happened, I thought, "This can't last too long. I'll just let him get tired, he'll stop and go to sleep." Right! Twenty minutes later, the boy would still be under the blanket crying, only now he was a big sweaty, snotty mess.

My easy solution? Take the boy to bed with me so he can relax and go to sleep...only this backfires and I fall asleep too. Not cool when I had planned on working after the boys were in bed.

Ok, obviously that didn't work, so I tried letting him sleep with a brother. Logically the safest place would be in bottom bunk with Dylan. Not from Dylan's perspective, though, because I get, "I don't like Owey!" when I ask Deets if O can sleep with him. He doesn't just say it, he yells it with this horrible scrunched up face...and he wonders why Owen wants to beat the crap out of him and take his stuff on a daily basis, but that's another blog entry I'd rather not go into.

That leaves only one other alternative and that is top bunk with Brandon. Brandon is far more nurturing and tolerant of his baby brother, so I knew Brandon wouldn't mind having Owen to cuddle in the middle of the night. It was the top bunk thing that had me worried. "But then again, Owen never gets out of bed on his own", I reason. With that one thought I lamely convinced myself to allow the "slumber party" in top bunk because I didn't know what else to do. I just figured that after all my boys were asleep, I would climb into top bunk and carry all 35 pounds of that boulder back to his bed. Well, that didn't work out either, because Owen would wake up at 2am shivering and crying under his blanket until I came to get him. So now I just let him stay with Brandon all night, and he usually doesn't wake up until morning. When he does, he calls me to come get him, because, after all, he's still the baby and he needs Mommy's arms and warmth first thing in the morning. It won't be long before I no longer have warm snugly little bodies climbing into my bed, so I relish every moment I do have it.

Diamondbacks win their first game!

Brandon had such a great first game. He was really paying attention while he was in the outfield, which is saying a lot about our chronic daydreamer. He may have struck out the first time he was at bat, but he nailed it the second time and got on base. When he turned around to face the crowd from first base, he was smiling so big my heart was just bursting. Sorry, but I am a mom, and can't help myself. When he got to home plate, he just stood there smiling until coach called him into the dugout. Oh, and he was extra cute all geared up to play catcher. He was killing us all that he practically walked the ball to the pitcher every time. My sweet boy didn't know what he was doing. He'll know what to do next time, I'm sure. The whole team did so great. It really was a lot of fun to watch.

River Park Youth Baseball Opening Day

I LOVE River Park Youth Baseball's Opening Day! It's such an overly sweet bite of Americana, you can't help but take another bite. I love seeing all the teams in their brand new uniforms piled into trucks, trailers and even limos (don't get me started on that). Each kid has a huge bag of candy to throw to (and sometimes at) the spectators along the parade route. Each face in the parade is a smiling beam of sunshine. Unless, of course, you were pelted with a lollipop. Then you may think otherwise about that smiling face. I always wonder how many blocks they make it before they run out of candy, because they inevitably come back they way went. Only this time they are holding out their hats asking the crowd to throw candy to them.

Once the trucks, trailers and limos are parked, the teams come pouring onto Ciavarella Field for the opening ceremonies: hats off for the national anthem, teams are introduced, thanks are made to the MANY volunteers, special guests are introduced and finally the first pitch is thrown to officially open the season. While all of this is going on, you look around and see this beautiful, well maintained field covered in a rainbow of jerseys and mostly crisp white pants. 350 or so kids who just want to play baseball. Tiny t-ballers all the way up to the majors. It really is an amazing sight. I don't know what it is about the whole experience that makes me feel so nostalgic. There just seems to be something special about this sport and the people in our neighborhood who support it.

Oh! This is what it's like to have friends!

Maren Hanchen and Dylan loving the jellies at Monterey Bay Aquarium

We spent this last weekend with our friends, the Hanchens. Between the two families we had 6 kids to entertain. It's always so much work with just our kids, I was afraid 6 kids just might kill me. I couldn't be more wrong. The boys had the time of their lives with the girls. They spent the whole weekend playing with the girls. Owen was Maren's shadow practically the whole weekend. She was so patient and kind to Owen, that he couldn't leave her alone. Dylan and McKenna hung out together a bit, which was nice since they are about the same age. Brandon played with everyone. A highlight of the weekend wasn't the Monterey Bay Aquarium (2 kids asked if we could go home within 1o minutes) or the beach with all the treasures to be collected in buckets and hauled home just to sit in the same buckets in the garage never to be seen again...no, it had to be running around the yard capturing and innocently tormenting lizard after lizard. I couldn't watch the kids with the lizards for more than five minutes (sorry, no pics of this). I kept wincing thinking that this next moment one of the little critters was going to become road kill from over zealous feet. At least the lizards were able to "escape" from their enclosure at night. We parents felt so bad for the little critters, they had to be released from their pink plastic box of a home. Poor things were probably too stunned to move more than a couple feet that night.

When the kids were finally in bed at night, we would have some adult time around the fire outside. It came up that the last time the 4 of us were in Santa Cruz together was our 1st wedding anniversary in 2002. It doesn't seem possible that it's been almost 8 years. Back before children. I think that's when everything changed for us. Children. Our own and everyone else's kids. The life we were used to became irrelevant. The kids became the focus, so we threw ourselves into it as we should have. But at the same time, we stopped making time for our friends and didn't realize what we lost until this last weekend. Time to reorganize our life and make time for the people who we have unintentionally shelved but have always been important to us.

Maren and Brandon found many treasure washed up on the beach. Here they are collecting shells and rocks with Maren's dad, Scott Hanchen, at Rio Del Mar Beach.