Family life out of whack

Thankfully no one is sick enough to stay home from school, but the coughing and runny noses aren't giving up the fight just yet. The kids are upbeat and running around with occasional pitstops for a tissue. I, on the other hand, have been dealing with headaches and fatigue since last week. I'm not sure if it's Brandon's virus that kept me in bed for 3 days, or if I'm just mentally exhausted from Russ rarely being home these days. I missed him so much today I called asking him to come home sooner than later. With Russ gone, I feel like I'm just drifting without direction or just plain drowning, depending on the day. I'm sure that sounds ridiculous since I have the moms' help. I just need to call, and they are there asking what they can do. If it wasn't for them getting the kids to and from school, I wouldn't be able to work much while Russ is gone. I'm sure I'd be far more exhausted and bordering on insanity without them, too. It's just that when Russ is gone I feel like part of me is missing and nothing feels right until he comes home again. And yet when he is home, I'm comforted for only those first few moments I see him, because I know that he'll be leaving again in just a few days. I feel like I'm getting ready to crack, and I'm doing all I can to hold it together.